Tuesday, February 24, 2009


So I know it's not a big deal that I don't have all of my post-graduation plans in place yet. Okay, let's be real. Nothing has materialized yet. It's so frustrating because I have a very clear picture of what I want to do, but figuring out how to fund it is driving me a little crazy.

I am acknowledging right now that the fact that I have the time and opportunity to be this frustrated is a privilege, but nevertheless, it's still frustrating. I really am laying my trust in God, but I feel that I need to do my part too. As in apply for a number of opportunities. Not willy-nilly, but with very targeted goals. I have a pretty clear picture of what I want the next two years to look like. However trying to find funding for my ideas is as clear is mud. It seems impossible to find things that don't involve begging wealthy people and/or applying to every scholarship under the sun and tons of paperwork.

If anybody out there reads this by chance and has any suggestions for how I can fund graduate studies in Cape Town, South Africa you are more than welcome to leave a post. In fact I would be eternally grateful for any viable (and legal) suggestions.

I'm going to stay positive, and I apologize for the oft-mocked "rant blog," but sometimes it's so cathartic. You can stop reading now if you haven't already.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

100 days and more

Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (NKJV)

In these uncertain times, we need to wait on the Lord, but it's definitely one of those things that's easier said and done. I believe that perseverance is critical, but it can be extremely frustrating when you feel like you're putting in 100% and getting 0% back.

My mind has been focused on the immediacy of graduation of late, but clearly this verse has applications for all times of our life. A modern translation, (hope people don't find this too irreverent), "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming..." (Dory from Finding Nemo). Let's hope we're headed in the right direction.

love and prayers

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Instead of working

I realized that I can only work for 15 minutes without a break. Is that bad? Well it is what it is.

My countdown until graduation got me to thinking (102 days by the way)... Is it going to be really anticlimatic? After 4 years of learning, enjoying, and struggling in college, what will the day after graduation feel like?

I know that it is just one part of life, and not even something that everyone gets to participate in. I know that I am so blessed to have this opportunity to take 4 years to learn something, figure out who I am, try to chart a course in life. So I'm going to try not to countdown and just take it one day at a time.

Sappy, but true.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Second Saturday Impromptu Poem

This weekend I went to Second Saturday at the Painted Bride in Philadelphia with several other Swatties. We decided that there should be full audience participation so we started passing around a paper asking everyone to contribute their own 6 word line in response to the line preceding theirs. Everyone added their own unique twist, some people didn't follow the 6 world rule, but hey some rules were meant to be broken. Here is the surprisingly poignant result (each line from a different author):

What can bring you joy today?
Chocolate donuts or chocolate cake yummy.
Hearing ocean tides when under stress.
Makes me relax and lets go.
Towards the streets I sing it.
Droppin' mad beats, I wing it.
Gotta recognize my words are ill shit
Hit list, devil dipped, flip this
If you give me one wish, I'll ask for more
But that doesn't mean I'm greedy.
Jaz, on the other hand, tends
its garden with an unrushed amble.
Soft steps, soft scents, soft speech.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Music Comfort

Freshly Ground, "Potbelly"